Making Progress...

It's looking pretty good around here. I wish I had taken a "before" picture just so I could have visual evidence of how much progress I have made. Believe me, two weeks ago, it was really bad. Really, really bad. Now I have (almost) all of my stuff put away so I can actually get to it and use it. My living room is cleared of junk.  You can sit on the couches and use the tables.  It's such a great feeling! It's starting to feel normal again. Almost. This past year has been very hard on me, and my family. I worked at my last job for 22 years. I started there when I was 21! It was a huge part of who I was as an adult and it was a great loss. Seeing that huge mess everywhere, everyday, just made it that much harder. It's such a relief to have that black cloud gone from over my head.

Of course, there is still the big black 'unemployment' cloud hanging around. Trying to find a job at my age is a brutal assault on my self esteem. I'm applying for jobs that pay about a quarter of what I was making before and getting turned down. That's hard to handle. Everything is done online now, there is no personal interaction. Instead, to estimate what type of person you are, you must take this 8-page long personality exam that is beyond ridiculous. They ask you the same question over and over, wording it slightly different each time they ask you. And they are the most inane questions such as, "I can tell how a person feels by looking at them".  Is that a sought-after quality in a cashier?  Because I would think getting the change right would top the list. And the question is so dumb. I can tell how some people are feeling, but I can't tell how all people are feeling. What is the correct answer? I'm just not that black and white. Ugh...

My fantasy is to have my little farm with chickens and goats and a big garden, and just live off the money we make from selling what we produce. Eggs, milk and cheese, vegetables, homemade soap and jewelry. My husband Greg could sell his beautiful photographs. Yes, I know this is a long shot but it's not impossible. My cousin's Mother-in-Law actually lived this way for years. I recently had a chance to talk to her about it and she was very encouraging. It would take a lot of work and planning, but I feel like I am up to the task. I'm already taking my first steps, and making good progress.